I worked at Caribou Coffee for about two years in the not so distant past. I was one of those idiots who opened the store, which meant I was at work at 5AM several days a week. Granted, as far as low paying monotonous jobs go it was pretty solid. I would go home every day with a pocketful of tips and the regulars were both friendly and entertaining, plus, I had the pleasure of spending hours a day concocting ridiculous drinks to dare my fellow employees to drink. My pièce de résistance? A combination of green tea with a shot of espresso that I lovingly labeled Bong Water. So if you happen to infer that I might be the demographic that Pineapple Express is targeting, you might be right.

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Now, I go to a lot of screenings. So when I say I attended the worst screening ever I am pulling that opinion from a laundry list of screenings in which I have experienced. Needless to say, the screening of Tropic Thunder I attended was no the worst I have ever been too, but it ranks right up there. From watching a staff member nonchalantly dump a Large Sprite that a customer returned into the ice bin, to receiving a two thirds full popcorn, to twice being searched and asked why my baseball cap was “beeping”, to my girlfriend having her purse rummaged through and being questioned why she would carry a calculator in her purse. And those are just the obvious annoyances, but thankfully, the film Tropic Thunder somehow managed to not only overcome the theater staff’s every attempt to ruin the screening for me, but entertained the hell out of me as well.

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After a fairly disastrous week of camping, my girlfriend and I raced home Saturday evening in the hopes of recuperating enough to go see Wanted the next morning. Only Wanted wasn’t showing until 1:20 in the afternoon, and I was supposed to be at work at 3:30. So what did I do? Called work and made up an excuse on why I would be late of course. Don’t let anyone tell you that I do not have my priorities straight.

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M. Night Shyamalan and his ego have been spending too much time together. I think they should see other people. The Happening proves what even the biggest supporters of the director (such as myself) have been fearing for the last few years: the man has burned out, completely losing touch with what makes a good movie.

Read on…

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Leonardo DiCaprio is currently attached to star in Atari, a pitch that writers Brian Hecker and Craig Sherman sold to Paramount on Friday about the godfather of the video game industry, Nolan Bushnell. Bushnell was an engineering student, puzzle-lover and game enthusiast who went from fixing broken pinball machines to launching Atari Corp., a video game manufacturer, in the early ‘70s. Its first product was a little game called Pong, which led to hundreds of millions of dollars worth of video game sales. Within a few years, he sold the company to Warner Communications for $28 million.

DiCaprio’s company Appian Way is producing the biopic, which the filmmakers hope will play with elements from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (interesting) and Tucker (can someone tell me what that is). Sounds like more good stuff for DiCaprio. His next film is set to be released this fall, formerly called Body of Lies, now called House of Lies, directed by Ridley Scott and also starring Russell Crowe. He also is starring alongside Kate Winslet once again for Revolutionary Road, directed by American Beauty director Sam Mendes. He’s a busy guy, but all of these projects are sounding fantastic.

In an interview with Military.com, Terrence Howard talks about his character in Iron Man, Lt. Col. James Rhodes. We already know that Iron Man 2 is set to be released on April 30, 2010. Howard says in the interview that filming will begin in March of next year.

So far, nothing has been confirmed, but it is expected that Jon Favreau will return to direct, with all the key players coming back. As always, we’ll keep you posted on all the developments.

Contrary to seemingly the rest of the movie going world, up until a few weeks ago I had never seen The Cell. Unlike Magnolia, a film which I avoided due to a completely arbitrary hatred of biblical frog plagues in films, I had no real reason for not watching it. Sure I had heard from everyone that the film was uniformly awful, but I’ve never been one to blindly follow the masses. So when my girlfriend told me that not only had she seen The Cell, but that she even kind of liked it, I was intrigued. For someone like her who detests mainstream films, it was high praise. So with Tarsem’s new film The Fall looming on the release schedule, we decided to watch The Cell in preparation and see what I though. You know what? It isn’t half bad.

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It has been rumored that Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5 will be shooting back to back based on a script from Zodiac screenwriter James Vanderbilt. Now Latino Review is saying that Sony seems to be going full steam ahead with Spidey 4 and 5, and are looking for the next guy to play Peter Parker/Spider-Man. According to them, the first name on the list is Patrick Fugit, most known for his role as William Miller in Almost Famous. They also say that if Fugit doesn’t get the part, it could go to Michael Angarano, who was in Sky High and most recently, The Forbidden Kingdom. Interestingly enough, Angarano was also in Almost Famous, playing the young William Miller. And he also was in Seabiscuit as the young Red Pollard. Of course, Tobey Maguire was the older Red Pollard in that film.

As for these names, I like Fugit and think he actually looks somewhat like Tobey Maguire and would be an interesting choice for Peter Parker. I know very little of Angarano, so who knows. I guess this means that Sony isn’t planning on bring back Maguire, Kirsten Dunst or Sam Raimi, since all have said they won’t do any more Spider-Man films without the others. We’ll keep you posted.

Some sad news to bring you today… Oscar-winning director/actor Sydney Pollack died of cancer yesterday in his home. He directed such films as Out of Africa, Oscar winner for Best Picture and Best Director, Tootsie, Absence of Malice, They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, among many, many others. In the later years of his life, Pollack devoted more time to acting, appearing in Woody Allen’s Husbands and Wives, Robert Altman’s The Player, Robert Zemeckis’ Death Becomes Her and Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut.

Last fall, Pollack played law firm boss Marty Bach opposite George Clooney in Michael Clayton. “Sydney made the world a little better, movies a little better and even dinner a little better. A tip of the hat to a class act,” Clooney said in a statement. “He’ll be missed terribly.”

Oh, where do I begin? Where do I begin? Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull is a movie I’ve been waiting for over the course of most of my young life. Throughout the years, I’ve watched the movies literally hundreds of times. Nothing before or since has ever captured my imagination the way these had. During my childhood, I’d go out in the woods and pretend I was Indy, running from imaginary boulders, swinging on the rope tied to a tree branch in my backyard across make-believe snake pits, always saving the damsel in distress. Through my teenage years, I’d dress up as Indy for Halloween and often use his sarcastic one-liners in every day conversation. When it came time to go to college, the movies were much of the inspiration behind my choice to study history. Even as recent as last summer, when I heard there was an extras casting call for the Crystal Skull, I couldn’t resist going, despite the five-hundred mile drive. Needless to say, this must been kept in mind when reading this review. These movies are a huge part of who I am, as weird as that may sound.

So, it’s true that I had some high expectations for this. Maybe blindly high, but I felt I had little reason not to trust Spielberg and Ford. Even in the week before it’s release when my brother - another die-hard Indiana fan - revealed to me that he was a little worried with the latest TV spots, I stood firm, convinced there was no way that I couldn’t love this. Granted, I expected nothing on the level of the other three movies, but I expected something enjoyable and fun to finish off the series with a bang. Yet, once the credits began to roll, “enjoyable” and “fun” weren’t the first words to come to mind - and it kinda hurt. This is probably the most scattered, difficult review I’ve written, but bear with me.

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Flashback 19 years ago, I was 5 years old and about to start kindergarten in the fall and Indiana Jones was riding off into the sunset with his father, Marcus Brody and Sallah. And while I obviously didn’t know it at the time, most felt it was the perfect end to the trilogy. Jump forward 19 years and I’m sitting in the theater at 11:30pm for a midnight showing for something I never thought I’d have the chance to see: a new Indiana Jones movie. We’ve heard all the hype, and we’ve also heard George Lucas compare Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to The Phantom Menace - a movie so hyped and anticipated that we will most certainly all be disappointed. And I’ll be honest, I’ve been a little skeptical ever since it was announced. But this movie has an edge… Harrison Ford is still Indiana Jones. It’s been such a long wait, I can’t believe that I’m actually writing this review right now. But the time has come. Indiana Jones is back… and we’ve missed him.

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BBC News is reporting that the producers of the new Terminator films have revealed Christian Bale is set to play rebel leader John Connor in three sequels to the Terminator franchise. The Welsh-born star, who is soon to be seen in Batman Begins sequel The Dark Knight, has already started shooting the first of those films, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.

“He’s really an actor’s actor, so we’re very proud,” said Victor Kubicek of film company Halcyon. “Christian was our first choice and he’s a big fan of The Terminator, so we’re very lucky. But with Batman he’s already done the whole franchise thing, so we weren’t sure he’d respond.” Luckily, said Kubicek’s business partner Derek Anderson, “he read the script and he loved it, so he’s signed on for all three.”

Not much is known about the films as of yet, but we do know that they will be about John Connor in his 30s, leading what is left of humanity against the machines. Being directed by McG, the film also stars Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin and Moon Bloodgood. I’m even hearing rumblings that Josh Brolin may play the Terminator, though that is strictly filed under the rumor category at the moment.

About a month ago, we reported on the current rumor that Jake Gyllenhaal had been offered the part Dastan in the upcoming adaptation of Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films’ adaptation of Ubisoft’s popular video game. Now the Hollywood Reporter is saying it’s official. In the fantasy adventure, Gyllenhaal will play Dastan, a young prince in sixth century Persia who must join forces with Tamina (confirmed to be played by Gemma Arterton), a feisty and exotic princess, to prevent a villainous nobleman from possessing the Sands of Time, a gift from the gods that can reverse time and allow its possessor to rule the world.

Mike Newell will be directing the film. Production is set to start in July.

(As a tribute to style over substance, I shall count the obligatory racing metaphors in parentheses.)

By now we know that Speed Racer is a bomb of Stealth and Poseidon-sized proportions (and now that I think about it, Josh Lucas was in both of them, maybe he should have played Racer X), so, in theory, nothing should stop me from pulling out all the stops (#1) and crapping all over this movie. I’m going to refrain from doing that because, surprise, Speed Racer is actually pretty damn good, and I’ve got more than a hunch that it is going to become a cult classic a la Blade Runner. Don’t take my word for it, but I’m convinced that all the ingredients are there. It’s awfully pretty, it failed at the box office, and it already has a very vocal fanbase. And let me tell you, they’re pissed it opened third behind What Happens in Vegas and is continuing to crash and burn (#2) at the box office. Needless to say, it’s hard to talk about Speed Racer the film without talking about what it has become.

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The summer movie season continued on Friday with the release of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. This is the second Narnia film, the sequel to 2005’s The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It is, obviously based on the C.S. Lewis book, which was the second Narnia book published, those it’s technically the fourth in the chronology. Everybody getting this so far? The story once again follows the four Pevensie children and their return to Narnia to aid Prince Caspian in his struggle for the throne against his corrupt uncle King Miraz.

For a while, I simply felt that this could be a movie that would pass the time between the release of Iron Man and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t get as excited for this movie as I was for Iron Man or am for Indiana Jones. Was I sensing some hidden flaws? Or was I proven wrong? Find out after the jump.

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Warning: Not-so-surprising spoilers follow.

I’ve seen my share of films that I would call mediocre, but rarely is one so unoriginal that it makes me question its very existence. Like, seriously make me wonder why time, effort, and money were put into making the thing. Street Kings is far from being a film with no redeeming value whatsoever, but it feels like someone trying to recreate a great party they remember throwing a few years ago. It’s set at the same place, the same people are present, but something is missing. Sure, it’s familiar, but too familiar, and that old magic just isn’t there anymore.

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This was just too cute not to share.  Leave it to Pixar to make a metal robot appear adorable and highly marketable.  Now I want one for my own, even if it doesn’t do any housework.  Wall-E hits theatres on June 27th, and I’m really looking forward to another winner from the studio.

Variety is reporting that the Weinstein Co. will turn the Jim Henson series Fraggle Rock into a live-action musical feature. Cory Edwards, who directed the animated film Hoodwinked!, will direct and write the screenplay. The Jim Henson Co. will be on board as producers. Just like the series, the film will be populated by a mix of human characters and Fraggle Rock puppets. The film will take the core characters Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red outside of their home in Fraggle Rock, where they interact with humans, which they think are aliens. The show premiered on HBO in 1983, ran five seasons and was broadcast in more than 80 countries.

To be honest, I actually like the idea. A lot of 80s shows are being made into movies, and while most of them are terrible ideas, this is one I think could work. And I love Fraggle Rock.

The more I see of this, the less interest I have in it. Maybe it’s just called growing up. Maybe it’s just that we already know so much about this story. Or maybe it’s just that this doesn’t look that promising. I don’t know.

The girlfriend and I had brunch at Gigi’s Cafe the other day and I had what one might describe as an epiphany. Gigi’s is a quaint little establishment that caters predominantly to those who are on the wrong side of thirty plus the occasional migrant hipster. Not exactly an eclectic clientèle but one that nonetheless manages to habitually visit on an almost daily basis.

On this morning we lucked out in that we somehow managed to avoid both the breakfast and brunch rushes allowing us to walk straight up to the counter and immediately order. Our server was a surprisingly tall, cute Asian woman whose nationality was difficult to discern. This afforded my girlfriend of launching into her thesis on how impossibly cute Asian children are. But while the girls are forever in bloom the boys ripen rather early and rarely retain their cuteness after puberty.

Now she repeats this lecture nearly every time we encounter a cute Asian child, clearly alluding to the fact that she would love to adopt one. But I also know she is incapable of controlling her urges, and what would start out as her wanting to help a poor abandoned orphan would quickly morph her into the Angelina Jolie of East Asia, picking out one from every country to add to her collection. This in turn would usher in the day that I come home from work to find her children hermetically sealed so that she might eternally preserve their cuteness ... what a legal nightmare that will be.

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